Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
