Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
