I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
