What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
