some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
