accomplished twins. life is a go
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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