She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
