Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize