I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
