white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize