ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
