i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
