I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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