at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
