I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
