how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
