i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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