I wish I could punch you in the face.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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