haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize