Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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