would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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