forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
