GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
