i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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