I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
