I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
