if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
