Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
