I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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