is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I look better un-naked...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
