brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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