Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
