So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize