There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
