Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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