So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
