Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
