We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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