my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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