Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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