yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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