I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He felt like a one man threesome
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
