38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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