someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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