Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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