you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
