WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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