I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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