guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
