thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
