We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize