Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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