oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
