I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
