He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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