Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
