Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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