Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
