hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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