Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize