Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
